Connected by Bonds of Understanding

(Note: the first part of this message is my "Pastor's Message" in the Good Shepherd Sunday Bulletin for January 24. But I didn't have space to continue it, which I am doing here.)

Last Tuesday I had the honor of signing and personally putting in the mail a check from the parish to Catholic Relief Services for Haiti Relief totaling $7,600. In your generosity, you contributed $6,560 last weekend, specifically designated for Haiti. We added, as promised, 10% of the regular Sunday collection, which you generously give weekly for the support of our church: $1,040. By the time you read this, CRS is putting this money to use. Contributions keep coming in, and so we will continue to forward these donations to them. You can find our more about CRS and donate directly online at http://crs.org.

I am grateful to you, the People of God who are the Catholic Community of the Good Shepherd, and proud of you, for your wonderful generosity to those in need as well as for your ongoing support of the life and mission of our parish.

Next week, we will begin the annual Los Angeles Archdiocesan appeal, Together in Mission, in which we are asked to help the very real local need of keeping Catholic churches and schools alive in our own distressed neighborhoods. I have been amazed at the level of support you gave this in the past, and look forward to a successful outcome in this, my first year with you.

When I turned my computer on today to begin writing this message to you, one item the "news corner" of my homepage was headlined, "Christian-Muslim Mayhem in Nigeria Kills Dozens." Why, when there is such need for cooperation in relieving the suffering in our world, are so many intent on creating more suffering?

I am saddened when this question is discussed, that so many resort to blaming the other and justifying their own righteousness. Is that helpful? Does that produce any good beyond fleeting self-satisfaction, which often leads to isolation, further alienation, retribution, more suffering, and, ultimately, self-destruction?

If we believe God's revelation in Jesus, love is the answer. But love is the ultimate weasel word. Everybody uses it to mean what they want it to mean, to the extent that it can even become a mask for indifference and hatred. Genuine love is tested by forgiveness. In fact, the second most often repeated command of Jesus in the Gospels is to "love your enemies."

The command takes various forms, including "forgive seventy times seven times," "turn the other cheek," and so on -- most all of them easily dismissed as "impractical." "Surely you couldn't have meant that, could you, Jesus?" Picture yourself asking him that face to face. What do you think his answer would be?

I repeat: the second most repeated command of Jesus is "Love your enemies," in a form that includes forgiveness as it's central component. Well, what's the first lcommand? Over and over again, Jesus is quoted as saying "Do not fear."

Could it be that fear is the true enemy of love? The kind of love that Jesus expects of us? The love that crosses and overcomes barriers? The love that does not hold back?

I would like to propose that it is understanding that directly addresses the sources of our fear, and puts them in the kind of perspective that enables us to rise beyond fear in order to forgive and to love.

I'd further like to propose that we tend to get the concept of "understanding" backward. Think about it. Isn't the question we usually ask, "what do I want to understand about you?" Picture somebody else asking that question about you, and then basing their understanding of you on what they want or think they need rather than on who or what you actually are? And the phrase "about you" makes you feel like an object rather than a person. Do you think that's fair? And yet, that's what we do a lot, especially when it comes to groups of people whom we believe, for whatever reason, are alien or threatening.

How can we look at it the other way around? What if our basic question was "What do you need me to understand about you?"

Suppose, before the earthquake, we had approached the people of Haiti with the question "What would you want us to understand about you?" Not "do for you" but "understand about you." Let's face it, what I do is always based on how I see things. Would that have begun to make a difference that might have changed how things unfolded after the earthquake? I don't know, of course. But if that had been the basic question people (and nations, religions, and cultures) asked one another over the past two hundred years, or two thousand years, can we imagine how different things would be today?

Over the past few years, one of the benefits of the Early Christian World Pilgrimage for me as the leader has been to reflect deeply on what is needed for mutual understanding among people. And I have come to the conclusion that all understanding has to be based on approaching people on their terms, not mine. Easier said, or pretended, than done, under the best of circumstances. Exponentially more difficult when conditions seem dangerous or threatening.

Yet, maybe it's true that "practice makes perfect." St. Thomas Aquinas made a big deal out of defining "virtue" as a "habit," a facility for doing good acquired by repeatedly doing it. Jesus said something kind of similar, "As you were faithful in small matters, I will put you in charge of greater."

Perhaps every time we talk with anyone else, it would be good to keep the other-centered question in the back of our minds. Not "What are you trying to tell me?" but "What do you need me to understand about you?"

I have often thought the basis for interfaith dialogue has to be asking the other dialogue partner to express what they want us to know. For example, between Christians and Muslims, the mutual questions need to be phrased carefully and asked sincerely: "What do you as a Muslim want me as a Christian to understand about Islam?" and "What do you as a Christian want me as a Muslim to understand about Christianity?"

This is why I am so committed to the Early Christian World Pilgrimage experience. We don't just visit "holy places." We immerse ourselves in the interactions among God and people, and people with one another, and discover a quality of undersanding that, I believe, is truly graced.

There are still openings for anyone who might want to and be able to come on this unique journey of faith and exploration this coming April. All the information you need is at http://ecwpilgrimage.org.